Revelations of the Soul

Wisdom

Despair

This is the final chapter for this man’s story. Enjoy. It’s made me feel significantly better. Going to take some vacation days coming up to relax and delve into writing, the Word, and a few games.

Conroy cleared his desk. It was nearing midnight and the frustration built in his sternum for hours, throughout the work day, and finally he couldn’t handle it. Tears stained his desk, flavored his scotch, and dotted his shirt. He had long ago tossed aside his suit coat and tie. He was on his fourth drink that hour and the bottle was getting low. Nearly half the bottle in a single night. Everything spun and it felt like he was about to fall out of his chair, his balance shifting left to right.

“How did I get here.” The words were choked out. On the floor, Elna looked up at him, a portrait of them and the children. She left him. When he arrived at home everything she owned, and numerous things he owned, were gone. Despite everything, there was only one place he could think to go, one place that protected him and acted as his fortress, and it was his office, high above the world.

His body shook with fresh tremors and he took to his knees. It wasn’t a surprise as he continued going to church and Elna became increasingly annoyed. The children were turned against him. For the first time in years, he was able to speak to Mal, the only child of his who didn’t hang up immediately. There was skepticism, like his father was working an angle, but in time the two began talking three or four times a week. The boy taught his father much on faith and the workings of God. Mal had children and invited Conroy to see them. A three year old and one year old. It would be something. But Elna just grew further and further away.

“Dad, maybe it’s not a bad thing. You’re making real progress towards being completed. Don’t let this drag you down.” It was the truth, but it hurt. It felt so cold. Why couldn’t Elna support him and come with? Was it really worth it if he lost her?

Conroy laughed. Of course it was. He lost a trophy wife, a beautiful woman to mount when he desired. He shook his head, “I’m pathetic.” He found himself on his knees, too drunk to remain seated. A cold was running through his body, making him shiver, though he didn’t feel cold.

Then he heard the door open. He looked over his desk to see Voren. “Are you here to gloat?” Conroy said.

Voren shook his head and dragged a chair around the side of the mahogany desk, sitting down. “No, friend. Nothing like that. I love you dearly. I wouldn’t mock you. You’re close.”

“Close to what? I’ll lose my job like this. I’ve lost my wife. All my kids are turning on me, except Mal.”

“When we’re at our lowest, when we are broken and made humble in front of Him, that is when He can remake us in His image, in the way we were meant to be from the beginning. This is good.”

“It doesn’t feel good. What do I have to do? How do I move forward with this pain?”

“Move. You sit here in this office, this empty sanctuary you created, but it holds no meaning for you now. It is nothing more than a room. Go somewhere meaningful.”

“Where?”

“Into the world. They need a man like you, a wealthy leader to show kindness and generosity. I believe God has a plan for you, and all you need to do is wander and it will find you.”

“I can’t. It hurts.”

“It does. Wipe this place from your shoes and walk. Walk anywhere. But look for the chance to help those in need. No doubt, God will give you want He meant for you to have.”

A clamp still claimed his heart, squeezing out what was left of it, but it made sense. Conroy stood up, the world spun, and he collapsed, laughing. “I think I might wait until tomorrow to walk.”

“I think that wise, friend.” Voren helped up Conroy and led him to a couch where he laid the man down and covered him with the discarded suit coat. “Do great things in His name, and the world will know to glorify Him. Blessings, my friend.” Conroy blacked out as he watched Voren leave.

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