I still need to write about my first trip! But today I finished up my vaccination for one of the hepatitis strains I started long ago for this trip to Guatemala. I was also asked by Pastor if I wanted to go.

I’ve been warring with this decision for a long time. My faith is pretty shrunken currently. I don’t feel it flowing like it had. There’s a war inside of me, and it’s been a difficult journey. I felt unworthy to go on this trip. Yet when I think about the trip, the only part that I truly disliked was coming home. It was being in the airport in Atlanta.

When everyone else was saying how much they couldn’t wait to get home, to see children, grandchildren, spouses, and so on, all I could think was there was no one thing particularly pulling me towards home. So why go home? So why not go back to Guatemala?

I’m getting closer to who I was a year ago. I’m eating more wisely, I’m writing more often, I’m getting closer to working out, and maybe I’ll start getting closer to God again. Have to keep trying, anyway.

To Guatemala! I’m excited to go and see what it brings.

I cried out with no reply, and I can’t feel you by my side. So I hold tight to what I know. You’re here. And I’m never alone.