Did I always know this would be the path for this story? Was it inevitable? It’s been over a year. I’m still hurting, especially this morning. Took her about a week before we broke up to replace me. I know, we’ve heard it. But it’s why I don’t think I can ever fully write the story The Devotion of Kelst and Ayne.
So Kelst and Ayne, which was supposed to be published last year, has been scrapped. I deleted it from my computer, from my emails, and there are only a few people out there with the full manuscript. I still have copyright on it, and I think I’m just going to let it slip into the ether.
The story was my hopes and dreams, in a fantasy setting, of me and my ex. Things went very wrong and the more I wrote, the crueler Ayne became and the harder the relationship became. I would rather not have that happen, having to relive the most emotionally painful experience of my life over and over, in a manner that’s a lie. I know how weird this sounds, but I generally write fiction in order to process reality, and the two no longer mesh in any fashion.
The story is important to the history of Mercer, the world they’re in, but I think it’ll be myths of the past and no one is quite sure what actually happened. Some will say it happened as originally written, where Kelst and Ayne were in love and remained together until the end, founding the town of Kelistus and having numerous children.
Some will say they had two children, Jaden and Belle, and then Ayne left him, wandering off into the distance for a number of reasons no one truly knows. Perhaps she met a stranger who romanced her. She no longer loved Kelst. With children, she felt like all her amazing potential was reduced to being a mother.
The final myth will be that she didn’t take Kelst’s hand at the most crucial moment. He was killed on the spot, not willing to leave the woman he loved. The city Kelistus was created by other political refugees in honor of Kelst, having him die a martyr. Ayne marries a powerful and influential military leader and lives a life of luxury.
I’m pretty sure if I continued the final rewrite, the second story would have become the truth. Kelst eventually would have sought out to find her, perhaps finding her in the midst of the undead invasion, finding love again before they died. Or he’d find her as an undead and kill her. Depending on how I was feeling that day.
Good luck with your writing. I hope it’s being more productive than my own. In good news, I have cover art for G’desh. Very excited about it. Captured the old Arabian art style I really wanted. Hopefully it’ll be attention grabbing.
God With Us!
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