The Vault of Glass is a raid in Destiny, a science fiction shooter MMO kind of thing. It’s difficult, requires a coordinated and skilled group of six, and has only been finished by 4.8% of all people who popped destiny into their PS4 console. I’m guessing the demographic is similar across all platforms. While this customarily takes 3-4 hours to finish, I put together a personally picked crack team on Wednesday. What comes next is our experience as experts in this time and space traveling hell known as the Vault of Glass.
We flew towards Venus, chatting it up before we made landfall. I asked for a moment of silence. “You were all picked for a reason. The Vex are hiding something down here, something we believe could alter the course of history. Not just our history to come, but it could distort time and space, making it that humanity never even existed. We cannot let this happen.
“Many have tried. Many have failed. Tonight, we shatter this faberge egg known as the Vault. Tonight we feed the Vex cores to their time warping mothers. Tonight, we tell the Vex we’re tired of their shenanigans.”
The shouted, as I expected, and we dropped through atmo and landed at the entrance.
A spire would open the vault, but to do that we had to cut through the Vex, their most powerful minions trying to put an end to our life. Five minutes in: “Guys, I can’t get my area to respond. It won’t build the spire.”
“Wait, what? I fought like three guys.”
Next was the Templar, a super computer which could manifest sprites from the time stream. They could look into our past and cut us off before we arrived if they were given the chance to lock onto us. The computer foes would also attempt to build a great construct which ended all life within the vault. We would struggle, war with it, and fight our way through, as we had in the past, the difficulty almost impossible to fully describe.
“The relic spawned. Did we beat the first part?”
“We died twice?”
“Yup. Middle got swarmed for a second.”
“It’s been like twenty minutes. This should take us an hour.”
“Not today, boys.”
The relic was a shield of light created with the life force of a Guardian when he died. It protects us from the reality attacks so we don’t die instantly. To lose hold of it is to be forsaken by sanity. It’s difficult to wield it. The Templar takes us head on, and the relic is the only way to bring down his shield, and then only for a short time. We fight like madmen, prepared to die for our transgressions against this constructed god.
“The Templar’s dead.”
“No way. We took his shield down five times? It’s been, what, three minutes?”
Then the labyrinth of the gorgons, who look at us, and with one gaze undo us. Four minutes.
A jumping puzzle where floating bricks phase in and out of reality. Two minutes due to a dance party.
Gate guardian where we have to go into alternate realities in order to retrieve items of reality which make us capable of sustaining even more powerful time/space attacks? Ten minutes. For the last three minutes, three of the six stood there to admire the carnage, pick our noses, get a drink, and pee.
Atheon, the great undoer of reality, the one who will collapse all space-time, the being who can regularly teleport us to alternate time lines for Mars or Venus? The time lord at the center of all things which are undone? Fifteen minutes.
“Are we done? How’d we kill him?”
“Sheer awesome, gentlemen. We killed him by flexing our muscles, pulling our triggers, and blasting him into the abyss.”
What had taken three to four hours, took us 45 minutes. Next is no deaths.