Where oh where is my black market connection?

I implore you to go to Google and type in “where”. That’s it. One word. A common word. Where is the remote? Where is my wife and best friend? Where is my dog? Where is my gun? Where. It is a question, a universal questions asked by billions every day.

Please regale me with what the first search is. Could it be “Where is Xur?” You must be wondering, “Paul, what dark corner of the internet will this take me!?” I have your answer good and faithful citizen of our galaxy!

Xur is from Destiny, a new video game I’ve devoted entirely too much of my time to. But who is Xur? Xur is a creepy little bastard from the Jovian planets, working for the nine, a group of war minds (super computers bent on combat). He comes to earth from Friday morning until Sunday morning selling us amazing gear. He is unwanted in the city, aside from by Guardians, and he can’t stand to be in the light very long. It hurts him. Only once has he mastered the pain long enough to stick around for more than that two days.

Not sexy. But definitely awesome.
Not sexy. But definitely awesome.

Xur is an epic black market dealer. And now you know. He is also the one question on most people’s lips who use the internet. Where are you, Xur? Seduce me with your candy. And radiant dance machines.

Sexy
Sexy

13 Comments on “Where oh where is my black market connection?

  1. Haha. I totally Googled it and just as you said, xur is at the top! Here I was, trying to prove you wrong… 😉

    • The great and mighty Xur cannot be proven wrong, for he is the darkness and within him great loot is stored! I get really excited about Xur. It’s like having Christmas every Friday.

      Also, do you have a website? The one attached to you says it’s down.

  2. That made my evening, Paul. I also had to try to prove you wrong, but to no avail. Xur is there waiting for me with his thin lips and hidden smile and black market trickery.

    • WOOT! I think it’s awesome. I’m tragically likely fading out of Destiny, but it’s still cool to know it has that kind of impact on the internet.

  3. Pingback: No More Destiny | Paul Davis

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