“Hey, Paul, it’s 5am!”
“No it’s not.”
“It so is. You know what we should do?”
“Curl up and fall asleep in the warmth of my blankets?”
“No, silly. We should think. We should think about everything. Have anything you’re feeling unhappy with?”
“I hate you.”
“Don’t stop there! What doubts do you have? Insecurities? You could have done a better job on so many things, so lets visit those next.”
“Ugh. You can’t be this cheery. I am not this cheery at 5am.”
“Oh, it’s 5:15. People say time flies when you’re having fun, but I think it flies when you’re suffering from crippling self-doubt! Am I right? I think I am.”
“Please let me sleep.”
“Sleep is a waste of time! You even went to bed early so you could get up early. I’m helping fulfill your goals. Aren’t you excited to just lay here, thinking of all your failures and upcoming anxieties?”
“This is my fault.”
“There you go, champ! That’s the attitude!”
“I’m an idiot. I’m weak. I have no self worth. Are you happy? Can I sleep? I have a little over an hour to sleep.”
“Nice try, but with more gusto! Also, it’s 5:30. You have an hour.”
“I hate you so much. I hate me so much. Fine. I’m getting up.”
“I’m waking up. I’m writing. I want an article on Wattpad by next Saturday.”
“But you should just lay here another hour and feel you wasted the time I gave you thinking about all the horrible things you’ve done, the painful things you can’t change, and the future you can’t predict.”
“And you should go sit on a chef knife. Gah it’s early.”
...like butta' on your toast!
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