Depression is my motivation

I sit here Saturday night, exhausted but hopeful.

I’ve been fighting massively with depression the last two months. It’s still there. Depression never really goes away. It’s a lot like an addiction. However, the past few days there’s been light. It’s like being in a lake with weights and you’re swimming as hard as you can, and you can see the sun. You can see the surface.

You have two choices.

Give up. Let the weights drag you down to the bottom of the lake. Not necessarily suicide. Self-pity, despair, hopelessness. This is easy to do, even though it hurts so badly. This is the default setting.

The other choice is to find purpose and struggle up to the top. Shed the weights, though it’s so difficult. Reach up, kick your legs, be a bad ass, and reach the surface. Breathe in the air. The struggle never stops. You keep wading water. Yet at least for a while you can breathe.

For whatever reason I’ve become more and more motivated to workout. I think it’s God pushing me because He’s pretty awesome. At every step there are more reasons I want to workout, and with the weather being tolerable, I think I might go for a run. I stretched tonight. From there, I’ll find a workout routine. I’ve been researching a few the past week.

Depression has also been smothering my writing. It’s made it difficult, stagnant, and uninspired. I watched some good wuxu tonight (part of the workout kick), and it inspired me. It was beautiful, majestic, and mystical, a combination few cultures convey as well as China.

I hope your struggle with depression is going well. I hope you’re still struggling. If you’re in a funk, I hope you rest up just long enough to fight again. Much love to you and your struggles. You have a purpose, hang onto that, even if you can’t tell what the purpose is. I promise you have one.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Spreading the Writer's Word

...like butta' on your toast!

S. Overby's This is Not Hitchhiker's Guide

Don't Panic! It's just my collection of book reviews, writing, and other randomness.

The Word-hoard

some unlocked thoughts on writing, reading, hobbit feeding

Dragon Soul Press

Where Dreams Take Flight

EverywhereMan.me

I'm visiting each place in the song "I've Been Everywhere". This is my story.

Soraya Corcoran

Fantasy Writer and Cartographer

K. M. Carroll, Author

Fun, fantastical escapes

Anglorum

"Before the sea she stood, still as a statue but for the wind rippling in her loose lavender-grey dress and toying with her black hair - it billowed in the salty breath of the ocean like a flag of defiance."

SpyKeyOne

The gentle musings of a madman...

Author David Wiley

Author of science fiction and fantasy stories, choosing to write the stories that he would love to read.

Scribe's Canvas

a place for a little bit of everything

hijinksblog

Follow along with the hijinks of an emerging writer

Trials and Tribulations of Writing Fiction

A blog on the struggles of writing coupled with everyday life.

God Calling by Two Listeners

A classic daily devotional

Be the Beauty

My journey to being the beauty that lives inside my dreams...

R. Talsorian Games

We create worlds you can only imagine.

Rachael's Reads

LovintheLit

Mary J Melange

A hodgepodge of thoughts, ideas and the reality of life.

%d bloggers like this: